Is My Teen Ok? How do I know if they need help?
Our kids today live in a complicated, media-saturated world! They're growing up lightning fast, and they must learn to navigate so many changes in their day-to-day lives and in their physical bodies at the same time.
Thrills and Chills
Their inner monologues are scary!
“I’m stressed out about everything and I can’t turn off my thoughts. I’m not sleeping at night -What did I make on that test? When am I going to finish my project?
Why won’t he answer my texts? Is he with someone else? Are we breaking up? Did I say something weird at lunch today? I could see something on their faces… will they like me tomorrow? What am I going to do if they don’t?”
Sudden Twists and Turns
Your daughter runs into the house, tosses her bookbag on the couch, runs to her room, and slams the door. You don’t see her for hours.
What’s going on in there? You know it’s not homework because all her stuff is still with you. You just want to know she’s doing OK. You’ve noticed more intense emotions and a lot more anxiety related to school. But she isn’t talking much - at least not to you.
Is this just a phase or should I be more concerned?
With adolescence it can be hard to know when big emotions, mood swings, and behavior are part of growing up or when it’s something more serious. Here are some warning signs that could mean that your teen needs help:
Low self-esteem
Increasing withdrawal
Lack of interest in once pleasurable events
Hopelessness
Changes in eating habits and sleeping habits
Lack of motivation or energy
Body aches and increased fatigue
Increased anger, rage or feelings of guilt or shame
What you should do:
Talk to their pediatrician to seek further guidance.
Take them to a mental health professional.
Don't ignore the problem.
They need emotional support:
One of their greatest needs right now is emotional support. They need to know that you are in their corner. They might tell you that all is fine and try to push you away. Simply by showing support and being a stable presence will help gain their trust that you are there to help them.
Other ways to help:
Listen without judgment.
Keep your own response in check and practice self-care around your own anxiety related to what is happening with your teen.
Spend quality time with them and resist the urge to “fix them.”
Acknowledge the struggles that they are having. A little bit of acknowledgment and validation can go a long way with their desire to be heard, seen, and known.
Encourage a healthy lifestyle including exercise, healthy eating, and regular sleep.
Help them brainstorm ways to relate to others. Research clubs or activities they could join, encourage them to hang out with friends, or organize family gatherings.
Finally, keep these 3 words in mind as you help your teen through this tough period:
